Comments on: Agatha Spoon by Alice Vernon http://www.backhandstories.com/fiction/agatha-spoon-by-alice-vernon/ Backhand Stories is a creative writing blog that supports new writing and the writing community by publishing new short story fiction, creative writing, short non-fiction stories and essays by new and unpublished writers Tue, 06 Jan 2009 01:09:05 +0000 http://wordpress.org/ hourly 1 By: Louis http://www.backhandstories.com/fiction/agatha-spoon-by-alice-vernon/comment-page-1/#comment-4788 Louis Sat, 13 Sep 2008 14:50:42 +0000 http://www.backhandstories.com/?p=104#comment-4788 Nice repetition. Agatha seems almost arrogant, which humors me. Well written though. Nice repetition. Agatha seems almost arrogant, which humors me. Well written though.

]]> By: Tim http://www.backhandstories.com/fiction/agatha-spoon-by-alice-vernon/comment-page-1/#comment-4684 Tim Thu, 11 Sep 2008 21:53:02 +0000 http://www.backhandstories.com/?p=104#comment-4684 This was a decent descriptive piece. Overall, I enjoyed this read. The character was interesting. It made me think of the many people I have seen and known who dress in similar fashion. It did seem to lack a conflict (unless you count her challenge to the world as a conflict). The language seemed a little "writerly" for such an "everyday" type of story. Such language as... "a mass of coal-black curls and twists and waves upon her head, crashing onto her shoulders. Heavy, dark clouds covered the sky like a moth-eaten blanket that aged Grandparents keep in absurd quantities in large wooden cupboards." ... is alright in a longer piece where such descriptive language is supported by a narration that the reader gets to know and gets familiar with. Here, in such a short story, it kinda smacks you in the face... Or at least it did to me. As with all such short pieces, I feel a need to read more about this character. I feel as if this was just a gentle beginning to a longer story. As it is, this story was flat and missing in the necessary rise and fall in action. As a story seed, however, this has potential. This was a decent descriptive piece. Overall, I enjoyed this read. The character was interesting. It made me think of the many people I have seen and known who dress in similar fashion. It did seem to lack a conflict (unless you count her challenge to the world as a conflict).

The language seemed a little “writerly” for such an “everyday” type of story. Such language as…

“a mass of coal-black curls and twists and waves upon her head, crashing onto her shoulders.

Heavy, dark clouds covered the sky like a moth-eaten blanket that aged Grandparents keep in absurd quantities in large wooden cupboards.”

… is alright in a longer piece where such descriptive language is supported by a narration that the reader gets to know and gets familiar with. Here, in such a short story, it kinda smacks you in the face… Or at least it did to me.

As with all such short pieces, I feel a need to read more about this character. I feel as if this was just a gentle beginning to a longer story. As it is, this story was flat and missing in the necessary rise and fall in action. As a story seed, however, this has potential.

]]>