Thank you very much for such lovely feedback, much appreciated!

What I loved about this story:
1. It’s simplicity in plot
2. The theme
3. Utilizes a variety of sentence structures

What I did not love (I didn’t hate the following aspects – I just found them bothersome):

1. This paragraph: “They got on at Crewe; a youth with two children. The three wandered down the carriage, looking for seats, and stopped when they came level with me. I’d never seen anyone up close dressed like that before. He was all in black, ringlets dangling in greasy strands, bum fluff on his chin – his signet ring bit into the soft white flesh of his hand. He was dressed beyond his age. He slithered a glance at me, and then muttered something to his two charges who sidled in after him. He sat opposite me. We nodded, then disengaged our eyes. He took out a battered little book and began to read, muttering silently to himself. ”

This was the only paragraph where I felt a disconnect from the story’s flow. I’d love to see it re-tooled a bit, perhaps a clearer presentation of why he “was dressed beyond his age,” as I don’t think the paragraph quite accomplishes it’s purpose. If you do re-tool it, please DO NOT LOSE the line about the ring – that’s a great bit of rich detail for such a small snippet of writing, and I would love to see the rest of the paragraph match that sort of description!

2. I never really sensed that the main character doubted she would be able to look after herself .

Thanks for the good read!

~Stace